Monday, May 18, 2009

Dear Wal-Mart Employees

Dear Grumpy Wal-Mart Greeter/Bag Nazi:

Once again you stopped me as I was leaving the store, not because the alarm went off, but because I had ONE item that wasn't bagged. While it is refreshing to see some work ethic and I applaud the gusto with which you do your work, could we use a little common sense here?

A) I had a buggy full of items, all of which were bagged, except for the ginormous package of 12 double rolls of toilet paper (which obviously won't fit in a bag), B) said package was carefully perched on TOP of all my bags (so you must think I'm not terribly clever) and C) it. was. toilet paper! Seriously, is this a high-value shoplifting item? Do you have a lot of theft of the Charmin?

What is it about me that makes you suspicious? The t-shirt with the bible verse on it that I was wearing? Maybe it was the RECIEPT I was holding in my hand? The sneaky way I hid said item in plain sight? Maybe it was my beady, shifty eyes?! Maybe you just take yourself WAY to seriously.

While I understand your job requires you to check unbagged items as they leave the store, I would think that would mostly apply to, say, that big-screen TV over there or maybe the digital camera. You know, items with street value. Is there a black market for toilet paper I don't know about?

Our little encounters really annoy me. Let's try not to meet under these circumstances again. M'kay?

Oh, and would you tell your fellow co-worker in the toiletry item department that I am very sorry she is so bored with her job. However, it is very frustrating when she wanders aimlessly down the center of the aisle half-heartedly perusing the deodorant while I try in vain to maneuver my buggy around her. Perhaps she could entertain herself on a lower-traffic aisle?

Thank you and have a nice day.


Amber said...

Preach it, sister.

I also really dig when they line up forty eleven buggies full of new stock in front of EVERY.SINGLE.AISLE.IN.THE.STORE.

And the one lady that reads all the writing on all the packaging as she rings your stuff up is also totally awesome.

Aaron said...

I completely ignore the lazy ticket-checkers that stand behind the buggy line up, talking to their slacking coworkers.
If you aren't standing where I can see you, don't expect me to find you, so you can pretend to make sure I paid for my Apple-Mango-Tango Gain Detergent (like they actually read the receipts).

Carpoolqueen said...

The restocking the aisles thing? So you can't get down them? This is why I shop at TARGET. And I'm sorry you don't have a Target in your little slice of heaven.

Mich said...

You made me laugh, but only because I have so been there with you...
If we are going to gripe to Wally World, then what is up with only having one checkout lane open at a time? Why did you make all the others, taking up space, if you weren't going to open at least maybe two of them at a time?!!!

Or why sell an item, make me fall in love with it and then take it off the shelf or move it to where I can't find it anymore...hate that!

but in the end, I guess I will be thankful I even have a store at all...

Kendra said...

Arkadonothing's Wal-Mart has the grumpiest door greeters. I bet I know who you're talking about! It's the most inconvenient SuperCenter around. In fact, it's not even big enough to be called Super. It should be called the OkayCenter, because that's all it is-okay.

Now that I have a choice, Wal Mart is only for when I am desperate. I avoid it at all costs.

buscher3 said...

Is that the little old gray haired lady that's like 5 feet tall?? She's always got a frown on my face and has a way of taking the smile of mine.