Monday, April 19, 2010

More Fun With Words

Conversation with my 14 year-old daughter--

Hayley: Mom! I just saw a headline that says Taylor Lautner likes BOYS!!!

Me: What?! I thought he dated Taylor Swift?

Hayley: I guess he's bilingual.

Me: Si, amigo.

- Posted using BlogPress from Dixie, my iPhone

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

What's Cookin'?

Let us pause for a moment of silence as we bid farewell to my poor, battered Emeril Lagasse saute' pan who has served me faithfully lo, these many years.

My dearest saute' pan, you have performed your duty with honor but I fear you have become a health hazard what with your scorched and flaking Teflon coating.  It is with great regret I must ask you to retire.

Sniff.  Sniff.

Ok, without further adieu, please welcome the newest member of my kitchen staff:

A shiny, red Paula Deen 5-qt. covered saute' pan!

So, Lisa, what delicious, gourmet treat do you plan to cook first in said new pan?

Coq au Vin? Boeuf Bourguignon?

No, I'll probably brown some ground beef--and not the lean stuff!  Woo hoo!  I really like to live on the edge.

 I'd also like for you to meet the newest member of my housecleaning staff:

Ta Da!  My Bissell Little Green Machine.

I love this little guy.  I've already shampooed my sofa.  I'll probably shampoo everything in this house that's not moving.

Actually, I may shampoo the dog if I can get her to stay still long enough.

Oh, I kid!

Not really.

Don't worry, my bloggy friends, I haven't morphed into a Domestic Diva.  I promise I will still regale you with tales of my culinary failures and housekeeping disasters.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Weekend Update

On Saturday we went to Hayley's soccer game where we tied which is good for us.

Hayley injured her ankle in the first half but rallied in the second half to play goalie.

Then we had to run errands on the way home.  A quick stop at Hobby Lobby to get more fringe for my window treatments.  I've been working on them for weeks and spent the entire weekend last week finishing them...almost.  I ran out of trim with only about 18" to go to finish.  Grrr.  And we don't have a Hobby Lobby in my town.  Double grrr.  But now they're done.

Much like sausage-making, my sewing process is not something that should be seen so you only get the final product.

You'll notice that the middle section does not swag.  Pretend I did that on purpose, m'kay?  Much like carpentry, in sewing you really should measure twice and cut once.

We had a delightful late lunch on Saturday with Wes' brother and his family at The Purple Cow.

Mmmm...Purple Vanilla Pie with Reese's.

We also ran by Lowe's to pick up some more stain for our deck.  Wes is on a mission to finish it and of course we don't have a Lowe's in our town either.  He was very disappointed to get home with it and discover that he bought semi-transparent stain instead of toner.  He then demanded to know what the difference was because in his mind stain is stain.  In my mind there's a world of difference.  I patiently explained that stain stains the wood but toner tones it.  See?  Seems perfectly reasonable to me.

He will be exchanging it tomorrow.

And that's our weekend in a nutshell.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Smarty Pants

More intelligent conversations around our house...

(Hayley, Caitlin and I are all in the kitchen and Hayley is reaching for a glass of water.)

Hayley:  My teacher said that drinking water makes you smarter.

Me:  He's full of crap.

(Yes, we use the word crap.  We also watch Spongebob and occasionally dance to Lady Gaga. Deal with it.)

Hayley:  Well, he said it makes your brain think faster or something.

Caitlin:  Faster isn't smarter-- you could be thinking dumb things.

(Later Caitlin and I are watching American Idol and a guy appears on stage blowing on a strange, ginormous pipe-like instrument that is painted in bright colors with aboriginal markings on it.)

Caitlin:  Hey!  That's a didgeridoo!

Me:  (thinking to myself) She's full of crap.

Randy Jackson: (to the singer) Hey, dawg!  That didgeridoo was hot!

(I look at Caitlin and she rolls her eyes as if to say, "What? You doubted me?!")

Saturday, April 3, 2010

I Hope The Easter Bunny Forgives Me

Hey, you know what happens when you put eggs on to boil and then forget about them?

Yeah, I don't think we'll be coloring these eggs.  They don't smell very nice either.

Caitlin was devastated until I reassured her that the Easter Bunny would still come even if we didn't have dyed eggs.  And I thought she was so concerned about keeping family traditions.  I should have known.

Then she asked if we could still eat them.  Um...sure.  You go first.