The phone rang and I checked the caller ID which said "No Data." I usually just let the machine get it when that happens lest I have to talk to a telemarketer. However, this time I answered it.
It was a nice girl with KLOVE radio and she politely thanked me for being a supporter and did I have any prayer requests? So the cynic in me thought, "Oh, they want to make sure I keep making my monthly donations." So I gave her my knee-jerk, don't-wanna-talk-on-the-phone-especially-to-a-stranger response: "No, but thank you for asking." I hung up and immediately felt ashamed. You see, I DO have a really huge request that is my thoughts daily, even hourly. I have a precious 17-year-old niece who is battling an aggressive brain tumor.
Why did I not tell the KLOVE girl about Hannah? While I pondered this question I got in the shower which is where I do my best thinking. So I thought about prayer. Why do we do it? How does God use it? Is there more effectiveness with numbers? That is, the more people we have praying for a situation is God more likely to respond? Sometimes I get the impression that's what some people think. Can we persuade God with the sheer volume of our prayer? Volume as in amount, although volume as in level of sound might fit here too. Is it ok to keep asking God repeatedly for the same thing? Lord, please heal Hannah.
As I write this, I just got a call that Hannah's oncologist says there is a reoccurrence in the original tumor site. My first thought was, "Lord, if I had asked the KLOVE girl to pray would it have made a difference?" The image in Revelation of the angels tipping over the golden bowls of incense which are the prayers of the saints comes to mind. I once did an Anne Graham Lotz study where she questioned whether the prayers were filling up the bowls in order for them to tip over and pour out. If so, what if MY prayer is the one that tips the bowl? Or even worse, what if the prayer I meant to pray but never did was the last one needed to fill that bowl? Or what if it was the KLOVE girl's prayer that I didn't even give her the opportunity to pray?
I hope you aren't reading this expecting any answers. I'm fresh out. All I have is questions. In the meantime, I'll keep praying. Lord, please heal Hannah.
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2 comments:
This reminds me of that discussion we had in KGroup.
No answers here. I think we just have to pray, trusting that God's will is perfect, and not losing faith when things don't go our way.
I'm praying with you: "Lord, please heal Hannah."
You and your family are in my prayers.
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