Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Someone Just Lost Her Pet of the Year Award
This is Tess.
Tess is a very bad dog.
Don't let her sweet, innocent face fool you. She's diabolical, I tell you. But say, isn't that a lovely collar she's sporting?
You can purchase one of your very own if you are so inclined by visiting the Smithzonian Art Studio downtown.
So, a little while ago I stepped out into the hallway and saw this awful mutt with her ENTIRE head inside a bag of trash that was sitting by the back door. She had managed to chew a hole in it and distribute its contents all over the hallway too. I think she's been working on it for some time. I noticed last night that her ears were crunchy but was unable to locate the source of the crunch-inducing substance. And I know what you're thinking...My word! How long has her trash been sitting there? Don't judge.
Of course, I blame Wes. He wasn't here for trash day and Momma doesn't do trash day.
That's man's work.
Anyhoo, I struck my "YOU ARE SO BUSTED" Mom-pose (hands on the hips, eyes glaring, you know the one) and said very sternly to the scandalous canine, "Excuse me! I KNOW I don't see you in my trash!"
(Yes, I really talk to my dog like that. Sometimes we have rather lengthy, albeit rather one-sided, conversations. She's a great listener.)
Her head jerked up out of the trash bag and she had a deer-in-the-headlights look on her face. She knew EXACTLY who I was talking to and what I was referring to. She may be bad but she's not stupid.
She is currently cowering under my bed where she reeks of eau de garbage. I can smell her from here. I am waiting for an apology.
And thank goodness those lovely collars are machine-washable.