Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Analyze This

So last night I dreamed that I was shopping with my mom in some kind of outdoor market-type place and we were admiring a display of greeting cards and noticed that Alice from the Brady Bunch was also looking at the same display.  I was soooo excited and was gushing that it was so lovely to meet her and I looked over at my mom and realized that, hello, my mom IS Florence Henderson aka Carol Brady!  I was very upset with her for not having introduced me to Alice before since obviously she knows her personally.

Wes dreamed that he went to a party with Glenn Beck where Glenn was the featured speaker.  Glenn had on a suit and Converse tennis shoes with no laces and he introduced Wes to Jennifer Garner.

I don't know what to tell you about us.

Someday I'm going to surprise you and NOT blog about what I dreamed the night before.  Won't that be nice?  If you're still here, that is.

Oh!  I know.  I can tell you how LIVID I am that someone dumped an old sofa right in the middle of the road by my house right in front of the sign that says "No Dumping." What is wrong with some people?!

That's almost as bad as the time someone dumped the ginormous dead pig in the road.  And when I say "ginormous" I mean HUGACIOUS.  Like the size of a cow.  And my neighbor Randy had to tie it to his four-wheeler and drag its putrid, stinking corpse into the woods.  That was nice.

People are forever dumping dead deer carcasses there too which isn't too bad since the buzzards make pretty quick work of it but my dogs are forever bringing me body parts that they expect me to play with.  And my German Shepherd got food poisoning from a dead deer once and almost died.

My blogs about my dreams are sounding better and better, aren't they?

And then there was the time that I saw a drug dealer hiding in the bushes there in this very same spot.  I'm sorry,  alleged drug dealer.  Oh, and the time that the drug buyer's car broke down, also in this same spot, and I stopped to see if she needed help and let her use my cell phone so I would have the number she called in my cell phone memory and I gave it to the police.  And they said, Oh yeah, that's Mary.  We know her really well around here.  Great.

But really, we LOVE where we live except for this one trouble spot.  But it does provide some excitement in our otherwise dull lives where the only thing I can think of to tell you about is what I dreamed.

4 comments:

Amber said...

Reason #234,343,382,383 that I adore you.

Nina Diane said...

uhhh,..wow! where the heck do you live! exciting times huh?

Tiffani said...

girl, you had me ROLLING, again. I'm just glad to know that there are others who dream such CRAZY outlandish things like me!!!

I have TONS of dreams about water!?

Grossness to dead animals.
Dangness to dumped sofas.
Sceeryness to druggies.

whimzie said...

Yes, where DO you live?

Does Cousin Eddie from Christmas Vacation live anywhere close?