I Had The Weirdest Dream Last Night

So, I haven't been sleeping well this week.  I let myself run out of Flexaril because I thought it didn't really affect me but as it turns out it must because I have been waking up at 3:00 am EVERY NIGHT THIS WEEK.  I am picking up a refill PRONTO.

Of course, it hasn't helped matters that Wes' new wireless printer is POSSESSED.  It is stationed in our bedroom behind the TV and occasionally decides to turn itself on and print something that no ones cares about.  And it only does this at 3:00 am.  Once it printed Wes' pay stub.  Last night it printed a receipt for a donation I made to Samaritan's Purse LAST WEEK.  And my laptop came on and beeped and its lights got all bright and flashy and I think they are conspiring together to drive me insane.  Why do my electronic devices hate me?

So I finally fell back asleep around 5:00-ish and then I had the most bizarre dream.  I dreamed that I was at a party with June Gardens of Bye Bye Pie which is weird since I don't actually know her.


Sidenote:  If you don't read June you are really missing out because she is the funniest person I don't really know.


Another important note:  June is known for having really BIG HAIR.  She regales her readers regularly with tales of her hair woes and usually treats us to a picture of her unruly hair too.  And as far as I can tell from her blog she and her husband, Marvin, are about the same age.

So we're at this party and June shows up with very short, very straight, very manly hair.  And Carpoolqueen was there too, which is also weird but not AS weird because at least I really do know her in real life.  So, Carpoolqueen sidles up next to me and looks at June's new man-do and whispers, "Disappointing, isn't it?  And didn't I tell you that she is WAY older than Marvin?!"  And then I realized that June looked like Ernest Borgnine!

I have no idea what this means.

Oh, and I also dreamed that we had another dog that we forgot about and I found it in the backyard, starving and dehydrated.  I was kneeling over it's poor, emaciated body and weeping in despair and completely wracked with guilt.

If you'll excuse me, I need to go do a head count and make sure all the critters are accounted for and then I'm going to pick up my prescription.

Guess Whose Status as Family Pet Is In Jeopardy?

This used to be a cell phone charger.

When confronted with the evidence, Tess simply replied...

Someone Just Lost Her Pet of the Year Award

This is Tess.

Tess is a very bad dog.

Don't let her sweet, innocent face fool you.  She's diabolical, I tell you.  But say, isn't that a lovely collar she's sporting?

You can purchase one of your very own if you are so inclined by visiting the Smithzonian Art Studio downtown.

So, a little while ago I stepped out into the hallway and saw this awful mutt with her ENTIRE head inside a bag of trash that was sitting by the back door.  She had managed to chew a hole in it and distribute its contents all over the hallway too.  I think she's been working on it for some time.  I noticed last night that her ears were crunchy but was unable to locate the source of the crunch-inducing substance.  And I know what you're thinking...My word! How long has her trash been sitting there?  Don't judge.

Of course, I blame Wes.  He wasn't here for trash day and Momma doesn't do trash day.

That's man's work.

Anyhoo, I struck my "YOU ARE SO BUSTED" Mom-pose (hands on the hips, eyes glaring, you know the one)  and said very sternly to the scandalous canine, "Excuse me!  I KNOW I don't see you in my trash!"

(Yes, I really talk to my dog like that.  Sometimes we have rather lengthy, albeit rather one-sided, conversations.  She's a great listener.)

Her head jerked up out of the trash bag and she had a deer-in-the-headlights look on her face. She knew EXACTLY who I was talking to and what I was referring to.  She may be bad but she's not stupid.

She is currently cowering under my bed where she reeks of eau de garbage.  I can smell her from here.  I am waiting for an apology.

And thank goodness those lovely collars are machine-washable.

I'm A Geek

I am GIDDY I tell you about today's special election in Mass. for Teddy Kennedy's old Senate seat, or should I say The People's Seat, ahem. Wes was planning to be out of town tonight but made a special trip home so we could pop some popcorn and watch the election results roll in. 'Cuz we're cool like that.

Today's election stars Republican former nude model Scott Brown and Democrat Martha "Curt Schilling's a Yankee fan and there are no more terrorists in Afghanistan" Coakley. Who says politics is dull?!

But first, we are going to Caitlin's volleyball game.





Don't let the fact that she's the smallest one on her team fool ya, she's scrappy!





That's her wearing the Sullivan number 19 just like her Daddy wore when he played baseball and her Uncle Brad did too. Aunt Sarah wore the number 19 in softball and her big sis, Hayley, wears it for soccer. It's a good number!

Ok, gotta run. The polls are closing!

- Posted using BlogPress from Dixie, my iPhone

A Post in Which I Borrow Material From a Friend's Blog

I got this from Mer's blog and thought it seemed like fun. She called it a Random Dozen.  I like that.  It makes me think of cupcakes in all different flavors with various sprinkles.

1. When was the last time you craved a food--what was it, and did you crave?

I guess it was the night I dreamed that I had a big box Cheese Nips.  And then i woke up and obsessed all day about whether or not to go get some Cheese Nips.  Of course, I did.  Well, I sent Wes to pick them up....along with Little Debbie Zebra Cakes.

2. M & M's or Skittles?

M & M's   hands down, no contest here/

3. Have you ever read the Bible completely through?
Yep, when I was in about the 5th grade.  Our pastor's sermons were so incredibly dull and over my head I used that time to get in a few chapters.

4. How long does it take you to really wake up in the morning?
Two snoozes of the alarm, a cup of coffee while watching Fox & Friends while eating my oatmeal.  Then about 15-20 stretching.

5. Have you ever been on a cruise? If not, would you like to?
I have not been on a cruise.  I'm not crazy about the idea.  I don't like water and I hear the rooms are very small.  

6. Who is your favorite actress?

Amy Adams, I guess. And all the girls in "Glee"

.

7. ______ is something that I will just never understand.

Islamofascism and progressivism

8. How much of a technology junkie are you?

I am so in love with Dixie, my iPhone.  She is my constant companion.  And I love my laptop.  Does that make me a junkie?

9. Do you enjoy selecting greeting cards for people, or is it more of a cultural "have to" for you?

I don't give greetings card for people because I think they're stupid.

10. When was the last time you got a new style/haircut?

I am giddy because I'm getting a new cut and color in the morning at 9:30!!!!

11. What do you enjoy shopping for most?

I love to shop for crafty stuff and home decor stuff.  

12. What's the last thing you think of before you leave the house?

Where am I going?  Am I supposed to take someone with me?  If so, where are they?  Do I have my Starbucks Travel mug filled and ready to go?  Is Tess barricaded in the laundry room with a roasted pig ear to keep her busy? Where's my purse?  Are my keys in it?  Where's DIXIE?!?!?  Oh, she's in my purse.  Let's go.